The alliteration and the memory was just too much to pass up this week!

Friday will bring the release of Max Payne, starring none other than Mark Wahlberg (with a little help from Mila Kunis, Beau Bridges, Ludacris...). Now it would be easy and sort of obvious to just revel in some "Good Vibrations" or Wahlberg's tight-whitey clad arse, both of which were extremely prevalent at the start of Marky Mark's career. Instead, here's his first film role from 1994 -- Wahlberg playing Pvt. Tommy Lee Haywood in Renaissance Man.

In the clips above, Haywood gets into a fight with Pvt. Jamaal Montgomery -- otherwise known as Kadeem Hardison, or Dwayne Wayne. Then they get to delight in the Shakespearean world of Hamlet under the tutelage of Danny DeVito, and then, oh yes, Mr. Wahlberg sings a little bit of "Achey Breaky Heart."

It never ceases to amaze me how far that man has come. It didn't take him long either -- after this film came Basketball Diaries, then there was only Fear and Traveller before he became Dirk Diggler.

Twenty-two years ago, Sam Rockwell was a junior in high school. I wonder if his young teenage mind ever imagined that two decades later he'd be starring in a feature film as a choking con man/sex addict. Since the adaptation of Chuck Palahniuk's Choke is hitting theaters today, I thought we'd head back to Rockwell's real childhood.

There was no crazy mother kidnapping him and taking him on wild bus rides and dangerous adventures at the zoo. Instead, he was a student at San Francisco School of the Arts, busying himself with the school's improv group. About a minute in on the above video, you can see him sitting on a stage with one Ms. Margaret Cho. They do a little saucy improv before briefly talking about themselves. First there's Cho, hitting on areas she'd become famous for discussing, and then there's Rockwell. That guy oozed cool even back then.

From galaxy-wide adventures to the Old West, methinks Rockwell sought the adventure he said he was looking for.

[Thanks to Christopher Campbell for the heads up!]

The latest wacky work from Ethan and Joel Coen, Burn After Reading, is headed to screens next week. As you might have seen from the trailer, the flick has brought together the awesome collection of George Clooney, Brad Pitt, John Malkovich, Tilda Swinton, and Frances McDormand. But this is certainly not the first Coen movie that Frances has graced. In fact, they jump-started her career in 1984 with Blood Simple.

Above, you can check out the trailer for the film, which follows love triangles and murder. McDormand's Abby is married to Julian (Dan Hedaya), but having an affair with Ray (John Getz). To make matters messier, her lover works for her husband. Julian finds out and wants murderous revenge. But deals with sketchy characters will always be that -- sketchy -- so things don't go according to plan. If you need to know more, check out Peter's great retro review.

It's not really a primer for Burn After Reading, which is definitely more in the Coens' goofy sea, but it is a look at how far McDormand has come over the years. Thank God Joel found her and married her! Can you imagine all those films, especially Fargo, without McDormand?

The unthinkable has happened -- Steve Coogan treaded on William Shakespeare's grave and created the super-saucy Hamlet 2. But as the film continues to expand its screening reach, I thought I'd go back in time -- way, way back in time, beyond many of the Hamlet films that have graced our Shakespeare-insatiable eyes.

The above film was not meant to be a comedy, but you have got to see the silent version of Hamlet above. The music alone is peppy enough for a dance, and I keep expecting some comedy troupe to pop up and wreak havoc in the scene. But this is the ghost scene from the silent, 1913 adaptation, so it's serious. Really.

Personally, I just love the part where the ghost pops up. Special effects have come a long way, eh? And for all of those actors these days who talk about the struggles of acting when a special effects character isn't in the room -- pshaw, these guys were doing it long ago.

Yesterday, movie theaters everywhere were greeted with the ultimate sight in rockin' sexiness -- Rainn Wilson. Yes folks, The Rocker opened yesterday, and now you can see Robert "Fish" Fishman get kicked out of hard-core band Vesuvius, lose all hope, and then find a new future with his nephew's high school rock band twenty years later.

But before the days of rockers, or fastidiousness on The Office, or even pent-up sexual attraction on Six Feet Under, Rainn Wilson was a space man. Above you can see him as Lahnk, in a deleted scene from Galaxy Quest. As a member of the reactor staff, he has a question for the fish-out-of-water Fred (Tony Shalhoub), and wants a little advisement. Oh yeah, and the guy who introduces him -- Enrico Colantoni.

Whoever would've thought that the Spock-esque dude would hop onto Almost Famous, star in a hit television show, and then get a romance with Kelly Bundy?!

For those who've always wondered what movie bloggers talk about late on a Sunday night, look no further as last night my buddy Peter over at Slashfilm emailed me a tip on a film featuring Scarlett Johansson at 13. No, we're not pervs, Peter had come across the awful kids flick on TV and thought it would make a fine Stars in Rewind post. I had never heard of My Brother the Pig, and so upon checking out the clip I was (pleasantly?) surprised to not only see Scarlett doing her 13-year-old thing, but also early Eva Mendez before she changed her last name to Mendes. Better yet, she's playing Johansson's nanny Matilda with a thick Spanish accent. Thankfully Mendes eventually grew up and became hot, removing her from a Hollywood life full of playing the nanny for rich white folk.

My Brother the Pig sort of reminds me of Adventures in Babysitting, except one sibling was accidentally turned into a pig and there's no male teenager to crush on Johansson or her almost-but-not-quite-hot-yet nanny Eva Mendes (ie: This isn't the Johansson threesome you want to see). Also making an appearance as the clueless dad? Yup, Judge Reinhold! You know it's bad when the six different pigs used in the film are credited on the movie's IMDb page. Damn, I can probably do another 500-1000 words on this sick flick, but I'd rather stop here and let you enjoy the clip above.

Anyone have fond memories of My Brother the Pig?

These days, Robert Downey Jr. has got the world at his fingertips with blockbuster movies and memorable, irresistible race-changing roles. But talk of his career is always tied into his long, rocky past with the movie business. However, things weren't always that way. Before the widely forgotten Baby It's You, or even the likes of the jerky Ian in Weird Science, at the ripe ol' age of 5 he showed up in his dad's film Pound, as "Puppy."

The 1970 film focused on a pound where 18 dogs were hoping to be adopted -- the twist being that they were all played by humans. Robert is, of course, one of the uber-cute, young pups that wanna-be dog owners drool over, and yes, he's saying what you think he's saying. Robert was super-classy and snarky even back then.

We finally get to see his Kirk Lazarus this week, but that's not all Downey has planned for us this year. After the light fare he's been busy with, we'll get to see him star opposite Jamie Foxx in The Soloist this November.

Sure, I've already shared Seth Rogen's audition for Freaks and Geeks, but since the comedic wonder that is The Pineapple Express is finally here, it's a pretty good time to share old-school Saul and Dale before they reunited, hit the chronic, and got themselves in trouble with dangerous drug dealers. A good ten years ago, they were living in 1980. In the above clip, James Franco's Daniel spends a lot of time going punk, and then Nick (Jason Segel) and Ken (Rogen) make fun of him for his new look, full of distressed clothing and eggy hair.

Most of the kid's from Judd Apatow's old show have come a long way, many of them reuniting over and over in the Apatow universe. But I have to say -- it's high time Sarah Hagan gets a piece of the action. It's just wrong that her last movie was Orange County. Even a little cameo. Just a tiny one to start ... Whaddya say, Judd?

At the age of 83, Tony Curtis is getting some film festival love. Jam! reports that the legendary actor will receive a lifetime achievement tribute at the Montreal Film Festival, which runs from August 21 to September 1. In honor of that, I thought it would be nice to go back some years and see old-school Tony. Since we're in the throes of summer, Don't Make Waves seemed most appropriate. It's a tale of possessions up in flames and saucy forays with sexy swimmers.

Don't Make Waves was the first Sharon Tate film to hit theaters, and in the scene above, she meets Mr. Curtis. Tony wakes up to a beach wonderland of surfers, gymnastics, and more, and he foolishly decides to take a swim amongst the surfers. While out there, he gets knocked out by a surfboard, and gets dragged to shore by the epic Tate and given mouth to mouth.

There's no poll this time around, but here's a bit of trivia. While the film didn't do so well, it was the inspiration for Malibu Barbie, based on Tate's character in the film, Malibu.

What with the firestorm over John McCain's ad calling Barack Obama a hollow celebrity akin to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, you'd think someone would have pointed out that McCain actually has Obama beat in the "number of Hollywood movies appeared in" category. Here's a video -- unearthed by Movie Moron via SlashFilm -- of John McCain's amusing cameo in Wedding Crashers, shaking hands with Christopher Walken's remarkably well-connected Secretary Cleary at his daughter's wedding. And yes, that's James Carville next to him, but Carville shows up in everything.

Just a bit of harmless fun for McCain or despicable participation in a BOOB RAUNCH FEST? You be the judge.

Also: Number of cameos on 24: John McCain: 1; Barack Obama: 0. You can check that video out over here. What's that old saw about glass houses?